It’s not a bad question

I like to ask questions. This is probably one of the truest statements about me as a person. For as long as I can remember, I have been asking those around me questions. As I transitioned into adulthood and my professional career, I continued to ask a lot of questions—sometimes to the point of getting myself into trouble. It wasn’t because my questions were too personal or inappropriate; rather, it was often about the volume and timing.

The volume issue was something I was aware of early on. I once had a youth leader limit how many questions I could ask in a day, making it clear that my curiosity could sometimes be overwhelming. However, I didn’t fully understand the importance of timing and context until one of my early leadership experiences when I was 20.

That summer, I was working at a camp, new to the culture and the way things operated there. Naturally, I had a lot of questions and wanted to learn as much as I could. One day, while we were in the office and things were particularly hectic, I asked a question that wasn’t inappropriate or unnecessary on its own—but it was one question too many in the middle of a chaotic moment. At the time, I was frustrated that no one answered me. I didn’t realize how my question added to the stress of an already busy environment.

Later that day, the Assistant Director, who was also my mentor, pulled me aside. During our conversation, she helped me understand how crucial the timing and context of a question can be, especially in a professional setting. When people are hyper-focused on an urgent task or event, even a well-meaning question about tomorrow’s plans or supplies for another activity can be received poorly. Timing is everything when it comes to effective communication.

Having an inquisitive mind is a gift. When I meet young leaders or students who ask a lot of questions, the last thing I want to do is discourage them. I empathize with them because I’ve been that person—and, truthfully, I still am sometimes. Instead, I try to nurture their curiosity while teaching them the importance of social awareness: knowing the right time and place to ask questions.

It’s also important not to let others, especially those who don’t value questions, silence your curiosity. Being inquisitive, seeking understanding, and having the courage to ask for help are powerful skills that deserve to be nurtured. It only takes one dismissive person to extinguish that spark in a young leader. Let’s strive to cultivate environments where curiosity is celebrated and where questions are welcomed—at the right time, of course.